The continued rise of world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Incessant
Correct article usage
The incessant
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increase of human beings is considered to be a burden for the globe.
This
may be
due to
improper family planning, illiteracy, enhancement in the medical sector, and so on. I do not concur completely with
this
statement as I opine that there are both merits and demerits of a rising population.
To begin
with, life is a gift of God to mankind.
However
,
this
blessing is deemed
as
Change preposition
apply
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a problem to society by some citizens. There are a plethora of reasons for the increment of childbirth.
Firstly
, people are giving birth to more offspring especially when they do not have a boy.
For example
, my neighbour is having 4 daughters and is expecting 5th one as a son.
Secondly
,
citizenry
Correct article usage
the citizenry
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in villages
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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uneducated and they are the maximum contributors to the increase in populace. To illustrate, girls are married soon at an early age and
becomes
Change the verb form
become
show examples
genitors for many children as they are not aware of the consequences.
Thirdly
, excellent healthcare service
is leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to a reduction in the death rate and an increase in
life
Correct article usage
the life
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rate.
As per
Change preposition
From
show examples
my perspective, there are both pros and cons
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
more humans on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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. Coming to advantages, elderly people are considered to be an asset to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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families as they help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving advice to the next generation, support in financial
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
with their pensions,
as well as
guide their grandchildren.
Similarly
, they
also
serve society for a longer period,
hence
giving
Verb problem
making
show examples
a major contribution
of
Change preposition
to
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their service to the economy.
Conversely
, some of the disadvantages are money-related issues for families where members are more and a breadwinner is only a single person. To give an illustration, my friend has 5 daughters and 2 sons and he is the only one who works,
therefore
, finding difficulty in fulfilling their needs.
Furthermore
, the more the public, the more the vehicles on road, which will lead to air pollution and
threat
Correct article usage
a threat
show examples
to the environment.
To conclude
, augmentation in life expectancy is becoming a difficulty for allies.
This
is merely
due to
fewer teachings, greed for newborns,
as well as
service by the health department. The leverages and drawbacks are delineated in the above paragraphs
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
my standpoint.
Submitted by saniafatima185 on

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task response
The introduction lacks clarity and conciseness. It is important to clearly state your position on whether you agree or disagree with the statement and outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with separate paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific point related to the topic and smoothly transition to the next.

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