IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

More and more people prefer consuming food imports from foreign countries, instead of domestically produced foodstuff. What are the reasons and solutions?

#people #food #imports #countries #foodstuff
It is true that many individuals enjoy eating exotic
food
 from outlandish nations.
This
 essay will shed light on the dangers it brings for citizens and society and propose some measures of
this
 worrying trend. The reasons behind
this
 worrying trend are definite.
Firstly
, foreign
speciaties
Correct your spelling
species
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 better quality ingredients than domestic
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. It is mainly because they think that the strict processing regulations of exotic
food
 will ensure quality, so they will give more priority when that product is on sale. A commonly cited example is that nowadays, the
mass
Fix the agreement mistake
masses
show examples
 highly recommend foreign
food
 over domestic
food
 and they will buy them regardless of higher cost. Another reason for
that is
 there are some people who are culture xenophiles so they only enjoy foreign
food
.
Moreover
, many types of
food
 are only available abroad, so citizens often find ways to buy them. There are many solutions to these problems. I am convinced that there are several measures that can be adopted to tackle these problems, I am convinced that the following remedies can be adopted.
Firstly
, improve the product quality more because nowadays farmers usually overuse pesticides even though they are quite necessary for agriculture.
Therefore
, it will harm human health.
In addition
, make domestic
food
 products more diverse to reach residents easily. In conclusion, there are many reasons behind
this
 tendency and methods that can be taken to solve the problem of people enjoying exotic
food
instead
 of domestic
food
. It is recommended that improving the standard of domestic
food
 is a solution that can encourage clients to buy it
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a solid response to the task, covering reasons and solutions for the preference for foreign food imports. However, there are a few areas for improvement. Enhance the clarity of your ideas and ensure they are comprehensive. There are some grammatical and language usage errors, so refining your language and sentence structure will significantly improve the overall quality.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there is some room for improvement in coherence. Try to use more varied linking words and ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your writing flow better and enhance readability.
task achievement
You've addressed the task well by identifying both reasons and solutions. This shows a good understanding of the prompt and demonstrates your ability to think critically about the subject.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state the topic and summary of your arguments. This provides a good framework for your essay and makes it easier for the reader to follow your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points quite effectively. Using examples and explanations helps to clarify your ideas and reinforces your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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