Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It's a well-known fact that food and drinks containing a high level of sugar can be hazardous to our health. If sugary products become more expensive, many people will reduce the amount of sweetness. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement and think that sweets shouldn't be overpriced. First of all, I believe that the higher prices of sugars are not the proper way out. When people eat chocolate and candies there is an increasing level of serotonin, which is pivotal for blood and brain functioning. Its lack can result in stress and the correct and controlled amount of sugary can be very useful.

However

Linking Words

, not everyone is able to control themselves from overeating, causing serious diseases. Very active propaganda among the public must be taken into consideration.

For example

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, if diabetologists and doctors join together and think about useful recommendations, it will be a great start to winning the battle

with

Change preposition

against

show examples

diabetes and obesity.

Secondly

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, there is another way of solving

this

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problem - replacing sugar with sustainable products like stevia. That can be very effective because there is a slight difference in the taste of essential chocolate and restored one.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there is a

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

Change preposition

between

show examples

pleasure with usefulness that can help

oneself

Correct pronoun usage

one

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

lower the consumption of sugar. Some manufacturers,

for instance

Linking Words

, produce both kinds of sweets and people can choose tasty things

according to

Linking Words

their preferences without any harm to health.

To conclude

Linking Words

I'm highly sure that controlling and replacing is the best way out, rather than extra taxes and elevated

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

. There can be benefits

along with

Linking Words

pleasure.

karinaarifullina89Fri Mar 18 2022

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task response

Good job overall in addressing the topic and providing arguments. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect related to the topic to improve coherence and cohesion. Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the essay's quality.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed, providing a clear overview and summary of your arguments. Consider connecting your main points more smoothly throughout the essay to improve coherence and cohesion.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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