Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It's a well-known fact that food and drinks containing a high level of sugar can be hazardous to our health. If sugary products become more expensive, many people will reduce the amount of sweetness. I completely disagree with
this
statement and think that sweets shouldn't be overpriced. First of all, I believe that the higher prices of sugars are not the proper way out. When people eat chocolate and candies there is an increasing level of serotonin, which is pivotal for blood and brain functioning. Its lack can result in stress and the correct and controlled amount of sugary can be very useful.
However
, not everyone is able to control themselves from overeating, causing serious diseases. Very active propaganda among the public must be taken into consideration.
For example
, if diabetologists and doctors join together and think about useful recommendations, it will be a great start to winning the battle
with
Change preposition
against
show examples
diabetes and obesity.
Secondly
, there is another way of solving
this
problem - replacing sugar with sustainable products like stevia. That can be very effective because there is a slight difference in the taste of essential chocolate and restored one.
Therefore
, there is a
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
pleasure with usefulness that can help
oneself
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lower the consumption of sugar. Some manufacturers,
for instance
, produce both kinds of sweets and people can choose tasty things
according to
their preferences without any harm to health.
To conclude
I'm highly sure that controlling and replacing is the best way out, rather than extra taxes and elevated
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
. There can be benefits
along with
pleasure.
Submitted by karinaarifullina89 on

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task response
Good job overall in addressing the topic and providing arguments. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect related to the topic to improve coherence and cohesion. Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the essay's quality.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed, providing a clear overview and summary of your arguments. Consider connecting your main points more smoothly throughout the essay to improve coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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