The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

Putting on multitude hours in malls as amusement, have concerned the opposers,including me, about
it's
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its
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adverse effects on
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
,
however
, the others' justifications should be considered. In the following
essay
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,essay
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both pros and cons will be uttered. The majority of adults, nowadays, prefer to spend their free time
for
Change preposition
apply
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buying and
this
would flourish the economy as exchanging money plays a critical role in earning revenue and slacking despite dealing terminates into contracting the market. So bargaining would juice up the mart.
Moreover
, it is much
more
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apply
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better to pass time in these sites
instead
of hanging around with vicious or drug abuse and so on as a
consequense
Correct your spelling
consequence
of peer pressure.
Therefore
, advocators believe that wandering in malls is less harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society because they do not propel the wrong ways.
On the other hand
, spending money to buy the latest trends which are exhibited in shopping centres regularly may put great pressure on some families in terms of their life expenditure. As an instance, a household with a particular monthly income should assign a limited amount of money for outfits, home accessories and unnecessary items like that,
otherwise
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,otherwise
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they would get into trouble at
last
.
Thus
, in my point of view, roaming at marts and
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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inessential products is not a useful option as leisure. To draw a conclusion from what was mentioned above, it is
undestandable
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understandable
that walking through the malls as
an
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apply
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entertainment, by far, could be better than hanging around with villains if the cost of living would not be impressed by purchasing unimportant things.
Submitted by payamrap on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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