IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#mass #communication #transport #societies #phenomenon #globalization #people #fear #loss #identity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays we live in an era where people around the world are becoming more and more similar . We eat the same food , wear some clothe and watch the same tv shows.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many are arguing that
this
Linking Words
 may lead to loss of
identity
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
 I will be discussing why I tend to disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, on the surface it may appear that cultural
identity
Use synonyms
 is being lost.
However
Linking Words
, I may argue that the definition of
culture
Use synonyms
 holds wider elements than just food, clothing and music.
For instance
Linking Words
 , we can take JAPAN and SOUTH KOREAN as an example , both countries are located in eastern Asia and Japan did colonize South Korea and
also
Linking Words
 there has many enroumes trade between the two countries for a decade but ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 south Koreans still have their own
identity
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 and did not lose their
identity
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is indeed evidence that the main foundation of any
culture
Use synonyms
 is its unique value traditions and beliefs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when we look closely at any
culture
Use synonyms
 we realize that its own unique rules are what set it apart from other cultures.
For example
Linking Words
 , in Indian ,
culture
Use synonyms
 all family members from grandparents to grandchildren live on the same roof. In conclusion, we can not ignore that globalization has changed many aspects of our daily life but it is unfair to say that it resulted in
identity
Use synonyms
 loss.
Submitted by ph.amal.just on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: