IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries
Many
people
 thought that we should only help our own
communities
 and take care of our
countries
. While I don’t agree with
this
 I think we should try out best to help as many
people
 as we can. On the one hand, our own
communities
 and
countries
 are very important and crucial to us. If it needs help, we should lend our helping hand without hesitation.
Communities
 and
countries
 are the places where we grew up and gave us a lot of help,
such
 as free education and medical services. And in our own
countries
 and ,
communities
 there always exists poor
people
 and disabled
people
 who need help, and we can use our own way to help them as a member of our
countries
 and
communities
 through donating money to them or organising
people
 as a voluntary group to do something for them.
On the other hand
, we should
also
 care about the
countries
 near our borders or somewhere needed help.
For example
 , wars will sometimes happen nowadays, so we as human beings, will advocate for love and peace and send some goods and materials to the army or citizens in need. And the gap between the poor and wealthy
countries
 is very huge, and we could unite the citizens in our own
countries
 and
communities
 to donate money or goods to those areas.
Moreover
, we can see that in the world-wide-spread virus
such
 as COVID and Ebola，many
countries
 will send the rescue team to the
countries
 that have poor medical conditions. In all, we should not only help our own
communities
 and
countries
, meanwhile, helping the
countries
 and areas in need are
also
 part of our responsibilities if we have the energy.
Submitted by Welkin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: