Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries. do you agree or disagree?

Some people state that the best way to develop your
worldview
is by pushing boundaries and exploring new
countries
. From my point of view, individuals can utilize
this
method if it is possible.
However
, there are several other ways to improve your
worldview
. First of all, it is an undeniable fact that visiting new
countries
and learning new languages will improve your understanding of the planet we live on. Certainly, facing new profiles and exploring new cultures will directly affect your perspective.
Furthermore
, if you add learning new dialects to your list of adventures, your outlook will improve far more. Researchers from the United States of America's Gunborg University discovered that most of the iconic names in history,
such
as Cleopatra, Julius Caesar, Steve Jobs, and the Macedonian Conqueror, knew more than three dialects.
Thus
, the professors recommend students work on new languages.
On the other hand
, travelling to new
countries
requires an extraordinary budget. Unfortunately, in our modern life, exploring new
countries
and discovering contemporary ideas is money-requiring.
Therefore
, a middle-class individual with an average salary can travel just once per year. Happily, there are lots of alternatives for discovering new ideas and improving your
worldview
. Literally, the most common way of upgrading your understanding of the world is by utilizing online network programs
such
as Omegle, Skype, Discord, and Instagram. Even though you cannot see them in real life, it is an enriching experience to find people from different nations. From my perspective, it is the best alternative for a
worldview
upgrade.
To conclude
my essay, investigating travel to different
countries
is a good way to improve.
However
, it requires a budget, which is why people can utilize the best alternative of using social networks to discover new ideas.
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coherence cohesion
Great job on presenting a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve coherence.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the historical figures, are strong, but ensure they directly support your arguments to achieve maximum relevance.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, try to deepen your analysis of why online communication can be as effective as traveling for broadening worldviews.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and has a logical flow that makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position and sets up the essay well, leading into your main points smoothly.
task achievement
You use relevant and specific examples, such as historical figures, to illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global perspective
  • cultural sensitivity
  • nurture
  • fosters
  • adaptability
  • independence
  • problem-solving skills
  • financial constraints
  • exclusive means
  • digital platforms
  • broadening understanding
  • deepen
  • guidance
  • reflection
  • open mindset
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