In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies

In some nations,

students

have a lack of free time and stress out because of working extremely hard during their studies.

This

essay will suggest that the principal cause of these issues is the old educational and curriculum standards and submit a government education

program

as a viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion. One possible cause of

this

problem is educational and curriculum standards which have been implemented for a long period of time and trigger pressure on the

students

. The Curriculums need to be revised based on the demand of industries today.

Therefore

, educational institutions should update their coursework to be more relevant and useful in the present and future.

Additionally

, the capabilities of teachers are

also

essential to create a pleasant environment for the student. The most practical solution to

this

problem is a government-sponsored awareness campaign. An effective advertising campaign could warn of the dangers of being under pressure in their school and hopefully, it would raise awareness amongst the public.

For instance

, in Indonesia since 2019, the minister of education has launched a

program

that is

called the Independent learning

program

. In

this

program

students

in any level of education are allowed to choose subjects based on their interests.

Therefore

, it could change the learning process system

that is

believed as a trigger of

this

problem. In summary, working hard during their studies makes

students

experience the absence of leisure time and stress out due to irrelevant educational and curriculum standards and states should curtail

this

issue.

Submitted by anwarachmad426 on Sat Mar 19 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

high expectations
academic success
future success
competitive nature
modern education systems
top grades
prestigious universities
high-paying jobs
rise of technology
social media platforms
physical activities
relaxation
extracurricular demands
multiple responsibilities
economic factors
lower-income families
part-time jobs
academic pressures

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?
Tiny businesses and city markets became out of service in several states because individuals are interested in huge supermarkets. So , this means that poor people in every country will not be able to access these companies and purchase their needs . There are many positive sides to this fashion as well as a number of downsides.
<4
band
The bar chart illuistrats the percentage deviation of internatinal students among university graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.
The bar chart illuistrats the percentage deviation of internatinal students among
5.5
band
the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The cost of vehicles is a hotly debated topic that often divides opinion. While some people believe that maximising the fuel cost is the best way to save money, others think there are also other solutions. I think that, despite the convenience it brings, people should not raise the cost of fuel vehicles too much.
5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Some people tell children that they can do everything if they try hard enough. In this message, there are both advantages and disadvantages.
<4
band
Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Well, we have two maps which allow us to observe the changes and rearrangements of a Cambridge Central Library. On the upper side it is a map that was used 20 years ago, and on the bottom side it is another map which is now in service.

In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

The bar chart illuistrats the percentage deviation of internatinal students among university graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.

the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.