IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You recently attended a conference and you would like to give a presentation about the information you gained by attending the conference. Write a letter to your manager asking for permission to give a presentation. In your letter: describe what type of presentation you have in mind what topics it would cover and how long it would take who should participate in the presentation and where should it be conducted You do NOT need to write any address. You should write at least 150 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to request your approval for an upcoming presentation
that is
Linking Words
 planned to be on 18th of December next month. As per your knowledge, I took an academic leave two days ago to attend the Employee Development Conference that was held in KalifaTower.
Therefore
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, I am planning to share what I have learned with my coworkers in an educational seminar. There are so many topics to choose from but I chose the ones that will increase our efficiency and productivity
such
Linking Words
 as time management, Organization, and teamwork. I think it would be a great idea if you would have the time in your schedule to give us a speech about your successful story as it will inspire the team. It will be conducted in the meeting room, number 06 on the second floor of our company building I look forward to receiving your response. Yours faithfully Wefag Abdulmajeed

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction that includes the purpose of the presentation for better clarity.
task achievement
Although most of the task requirements are fulfilled, elaborating slightly more on who should participate could enhance the Task Response score. Mentioning specific departments or roles could be beneficial.
task achievement
The letter maintains a respectful and professional tone throughout, which is fitting for a letter to a manager.
coherence cohesion
The transition between discussing the conference topics and suggesting a speech by the manager is smooth.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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