With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extent do you agree?

#development #communication #people #friends

Recently,

technology

is beneficial for humankind in order to establish an appropriate society around the world. Online communication will assist a large number of individuals to stay connected with each other without any difficulties. I strongly agree

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

phenomenon will establish

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

society as well

Add the preposition

toas

show examples

enlarge

Remove the article

apply

show examples

networking among communities worldwide.

First

and foremost, nowadays, social media

such

as YouTube, Instagram, and Telegram assist many individuals to reduce their loneliness.

For example

, a male can send a message to his parents from different

continent

Fix the agreement mistake

continents

show examples

instantly.

Hence

, through those apps, a large number of

people

might receive

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

of information about recent issues

such

political

Change preposition

as political

show examples

and social

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

directly.

As a result

people

around the world will gain immense knowledge without any obstacles.

In addition

, with

technology

Add a comma

,technology

show examples

a large number of

people

might develop a virtual community through social media.

For Instance

, a person who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

an enormous interest in

online

Add an article

the online

show examples

game could develop an online community to share their hobby

Change preposition

with

show examples

others member

Fix the agreement mistake

other members

show examples

and play together as well.

Hence

, whenever they have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

particular assistance about the game, they can ask

other member

Change the wording

another member

other members

show examples

to help and give a suggestion and

recommendation

Fix the agreement mistake

recommendations

show examples

Therefore

, many

people

could create their own communities based on their personal preferences. In conclusion,

technology

has huge benefits for humanity. It can assist

people

to develop their personal knowledge or even establish a suitable connection with other

people

around the world. I believe

this

online communication will lead to a better society in the future, as long as

people

could reduce and mitigate the undesirable

Replace the word

effect

show examples

affect

Correct your spelling

effect

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

technology

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sat Mar 19 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
geographical gaps
interact
social media platforms
messaging apps
revolutionized
physical distance
online communities
camaraderie
immediate surroundings
unparalleled opportunities
superficial relationships
excessive reliance
emotional warmth
tactile comfort
digital communication
digital divide
internet censorship
global connectivity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
n recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion?
Althoughsome contend that societies promoting equality facilitate heightened individual triumphs, others cast doubt that authentic personal feats can solely arise when individuals possess the independence to excel or stumble according to
4
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, more patients enduring health complications are preferring alternative medications than certified health workers, such as doctors. This essay will elaborate on how this growing phenomena is considered a negative development as the preferred method lacks scientific foundation and credibility.
4
band
Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?
It is often argued by many that employees higher up in the organizational command chain being paid more in contrast to those lower down in command is a positive trend. I fully believe that paying CEO's and FA's more money than new recruits is completely justified.
7
band
19.Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?
Despite all the changes happening in the world, education remains a hot topic, particularly with the emergence of online learning. And, it has even been argued that human teachers could potentially be replaced by online distance learning. Personally, I believe that human teachers cannot be replaced.
4
band
in the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people assume that in coming years, people will not buy printed newspapers or books as they can easily find out and read when they want from internet without any fee. But there are different types of audiences and some prefer to read print out ones rather than reading from internet or electronic books.

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extent do you agree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?

19.Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

in the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?