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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Other, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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Whether a
society
Use synonyms
 is good or bad is reflected by the collective nature of its members.
Children
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, being the youngest, have to be taught how to become a better
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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. The responsibility of the same lies with
parents
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 as well as with the
school
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 they attend. Let us understand the role of
parents
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 and schools in the following paragraphs before forming an opinion. It is often said that 'Home is the
first
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
 for a
child
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' and I believe it to be absolutely true. Before
children
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 start going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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, they learn many things at home and try to emulate the behaviour of their
parents
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
home where respecting the elderly is a norm,
then
Linking Words
 there is a very high chance that the
children
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 will learn
this
Linking Words
 and behave the same in
a
Remove the article
apply
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society
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.
Children
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 raised in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 environment where social values like trust, honesty are visibly
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
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 tend to inculcate those values in their lives.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is imperative for
parents
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 to provide proper guidance to
the
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apply
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young minds.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
child
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's
first
Linking Words
 interaction with
the
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apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 starts when he/she starts attending
school
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. The
school
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 has means like Sports, Drama using which they can foster an
envirnment
Correct your spelling
environment
 of co-operation.
Also
Linking Words
, by having structured and formal courses in their curriculum, schools can play a major role in turning
children
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 into good
samartians
Correct your spelling
samaritans
 of
society
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.
However
Linking Words
, it is
observeed
Correct your spelling
observed
 that the focus
tend
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tends
show examples
 to shift to a
child
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's academic achievements and it becomes the dominating part of a student's life. In my opinion,
parents
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 have a major responsibility in shaping the
impresssionable
Correct your spelling
impressionable
 minds of their
children
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 and teaching them to become good members of
the
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apply
show examples
society
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. No one blames the
school
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 in case a
child
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turn
Change the verb form
turns
show examples
 out to be a bad member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yashkhatri1991 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: