IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #reason
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The twentieth-century's inflation has made
the
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apply
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humans
to
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apply
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work longer hours and left them with
a limited free hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
a limited free hour
limited free hours
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 to enjoy their lives.
Although
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this
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 change is compulsory, there are a great number of people who chose
this
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lifesyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 deliberately. It is noteworthy to keep in mind that working hard has its own two sides;
however
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, I believe that the negative aspect of it clashes with the positive one. The following essay will overlook
at
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apply
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two of these disadvantages.
Firstly
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, leisure activities
has
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have
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 always been viewed as the food of humans' minds. It has been told that not only do humans' bodies need food to work properly but
also
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 their minds require food to remain healthy.
For example
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, many
researches
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types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
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 have proved that specifying an hour a day to a hobby contributes to the improvement of psychological health which is essential for living and working productively.
Thus
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, various psychological illnesses, like depression, can ensue by
a
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apply
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continuous working hours and will waste all of the previous achievements which were accomplished by the
hard working
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hard-working
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.
Moreover
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, keeping friends and family members needs time and effort. Since mankind is a social creature, they need to have accompanies in their lives.
For instance
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, the chance of
Replace the word
losing
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loosing
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losing
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 friends is considerably high after refusing several invitations to their houses.
Consequently
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, people will end
in
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up
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 having a lot of money but no one to spend it with. So, all of their efforts will be worthless. To sum up, dedicating ourselves to a work brings undoubtedly a great number of drawbacks which overweight its benefits. I believe that the probable mental ailments and the chance of
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losing
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loosing
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losing
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 significant people
of
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in
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 our lives negate the advantages.
Submitted by panizfathi70128 on

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