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Band 7.5

In some cultures, children are often told that they can acheive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

#cultures #children #acheive #message
In a few nations, toddlers are always motivated for doing hard
work
 which is the foundation to fulfil their desires.
This
 essay will articulate its merits and demerits in the following paragraphs. To commence with, there are some benefits when
children
 adopt the habit of hard-working. The most prominent one is that by putting extra effort they can become successful. To explicate it, it is the demand in the competitive world to do hard
work
 which they need to learn in the beginning.
For example
, a survey was done by the Education Department in South Korea, they revealed that 50% of
children
 learn the importance of hard
work
 which helps them to attain their desires.
Thus
, few traditions are taught the hard-
work
 skills to the young generation which will be fruitful for them in the coming years.
On the other hand
, there are some negative impacts behind some cultures that are putting extra pressure on the infants for doing hard
work
. The most predominant one is that
health
 problems are the main cause for working long hours. which is not only prohibit mental growth but
also
 has a detrimental effect on the holistic development of
children
.
For example
, a headline of the famous news channel BBC BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPORATION found 80% of the young generation are suffering from
health
 disorders due to the burden to do
work
 for the long term.
Thus
, nations should not allure the
children
 for the extra hard
work
 because it has a bad impact on the
health
 of
children
. In conclusion,
although
this
 trend has some benefits for the
children
 I believe that drawbacks outweigh them
such
 as
health
 disorders which may restrict the
children
's growth.
Submitted by lovepreetkaur2725 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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