IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #sports #effect #education #teenagers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It’s
Use synonyms
 been observed that competition in
sports
Use synonyms
 is influencing the young of
this
Linking Words
 era. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
it’s
Use synonyms
 healthy and good for one’s development especially when it comes to their education while others are not true believers in
this
Linking Words
. They think that
it’s
Use synonyms
 leaving a poor effect on teenagers’ education.
Although
Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
 are healthy activities for the human body, its effect varies from person to person. Because of the multiple advantages of
sports
Use synonyms
,
it’s
Use synonyms
 considered a healthy activity. When it comes to
competitions
Use synonyms
, passion to win contributes towards polishing one’s personality. A part of the population is in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
such
Linking Words
competitions
Use synonyms
 in which teenagers can learn to progress and win. Passion to win can play a vital role in someone’s educational history. So,
people
Use synonyms
 believe that if someone is competitive in
sports
Use synonyms
, they will have the same attitude for their education.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 think that when someone fails in any
sports
Use synonyms
 competition, they get negative vibes, which causes too many unavoidable situations like politics, jealousy, and so on. One can do anything to win which can harm others.
It’s
Use synonyms
 not limited to
this
Linking Words
 only but they can join any extreme which can be disastrous for anyone involving that competition. Summarizing the idea, I would say that competitive
sports
Use synonyms
 are good if they are conducted with the right terms.
Competitions
Use synonyms
 make one more proactive and smart. Rules should be fair enough to accommodate all involved parties.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 are not in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
, we can educate them by conducting healthy
sports
Use synonyms
competitions
Use synonyms
 in every educational department.
Submitted by saman.shabir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote a healthier lifestyle
  • valuable life skills
  • mental focus
  • teamwork and communication
  • time management
  • stress relief
  • neglecting academics
  • intense pressure
  • physical injuries
  • mental stress
  • time commitment
  • fear of failure
  • emotional well-being
  • academic performance
  • balancing sports and academics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: