IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Opinions differ regarding whether subjects
such
Linking Words
 as
Science
Use synonyms
 and
Technology
Use synonyms
 are more important than
History
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe that
Science
Use synonyms
 and
Technology
Use synonyms
 are far more crucial, as they directly contribute to a nation’s economic growth and global competitiveness.
History
Use synonyms
 represents the foundation of a country’s development, which explains why some people regard it as an essential discipline in schools. By studying
history
Use synonyms
, students can learn valuable lessons from the past,
such
Linking Words
 as the causes behind the failure of a nation or a policy, the wisdom of their ancestors, and the origins of significant inventions.
This
Linking Words
 knowledge helps citizens, particularly government officials, govern the country more effectively. If policymakers have a solid understanding of
history
Use synonyms
, they are less likely to repeat past mistakes when implementing new regulations.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
history
Use synonyms
 serves primarily as a background for individuals and nations.
Science
Use synonyms
 and
Technology
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, play a pivotal role in shaping modern economies. With rapid advancements today,
technology
Use synonyms
 has become ubiquitous. Whether it is a cutting-edge computer or a life-saving vaccine, the country that pioneers
such
Linking Words
 innovations gains a significant advantage, as global demand for these products generates revenue and creates employment opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, the first COVID-19 vaccine, developed in Germany in collaboration with the United States, not only allowed these nations to protect their citizens first but
also
Linking Words
 enabled them to profit substantially by exporting the vaccine worldwide.
This
Linking Words
 example highlights that
while
Linking Words
 historical knowledge may provide strategies for dealing with crises, without scientific and technological capacity,
such
Linking Words
 strategies cannot be effectively implemented. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
History
Use synonyms
 is an important subject that provides valuable insights into a nation’s development, I contend that
Science
Use synonyms
 and
Technology
Use synonyms
 have a far greater impact on economic prosperity and global influence.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in today’s world, they should be
prioritized
Change the spelling
prioritised
show examples
 over
History
Use synonyms
 in education.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to show the other view a bit more. Do not spend all space on one side.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph and link ideas with small words like and, but, so, also.
style
Keep long ideas short. Use simple words and short lines so the reader can read easy.
structure
The writer shows a clear view and sticks to it in the end.
content
Good use of an example about vaccines to back the point.
coherence
The essay moves well from start to end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: