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Band 4.5

he global demand for oil and gas is increasing. Some believe that we should therefore encourage the exploitation of remote areas. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#demand #oil #gas #believe #exploitation #areas #outweigh
There is a rising dependency on fuel and
gas
 worldwide,
hence
, part of the society argues that we should foster to take advantage of remote lands.
This
 essay will discuss the possible upsides and downsides to
this
 argument and analyze whether
upsides
Correct article usage
the upsides
show examples
 surpass or not. Many statements are available in order to support the idea of enticing to
exploit
Replace the word
exploitation
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 lands. First of all, petrol is not an unlimited source of energy and global reserves will deplete at a certain point,
therefore
, humanity should dig into searching hoping to find new areas that contain petroleum
within
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. A similar thing is
also
 validated for
gas
.
Secondly
, the majority of oil and
gas
 reserves are found in fairly poorer countries. The Discovery of
such
 an important energy source eventually improves the economy of the country and
also
 causes an increase in job opportunities
due to
 needing for staff to work in the destruction area. In spite of all the benefits, one should
also
 consider plenty of obvious detriments of
this
 incident. To start with, exploiting those remote areas surely damages the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of local people on these lands. To explain, habitants of that area would be forced to move to another city and their native land would be spoiled with the help of destruction.
In addition
 to that, even though there is a huge encouragement for the destruction of a particular area, there is no warranty for finding oil or
gas
.
Thus
, all the effort would end up being
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time and money. In conclusion,
escalation
Correct article usage
the escalation
show examples
 of oil and
gas
 requests may result in the consideration of exploitation of the remote areas. Despite the fact that
this
 has a few benefits, the significance of the side effects of
this
 suggestion should end up
avoiding
Verb problem
preventing
show examples
 us
to perform
Change preposition
from performing
show examples
.
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improvement
Task Response: Address the prompt more directly by clearly stating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
improvement
Coherence and Cohesion: Improve the organization of the essay by ensuring a clear introduction and conclusion, and better development of main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exploitation
  • economic growth
  • infrastructure
  • underdeveloped areas
  • environmental cost
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • global warming
  • renewable energy sources
  • sustainable development
  • geopolitical issues
  • resource control
What to do next:
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