Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is generally accepted that there are differences between watching live
perfomances
Correct your spelling
performances

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on
TV
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and attending them in person, with the latter being more enjoyable. I strongly agree with
this
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statement because of the exciting atmosphere and the real-time
experience
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the performance. First and foremost, attending live events
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows

It seems that the verb allow does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the audience to share in the excitement and energy of the crowd.
This
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is mostly
due to
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people with the same interests
gather
Wrong verb form
gathering

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb gather. Consider changing it.

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in one place, creating a shared enthusiasm for the
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance

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. At the stadium,
for instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, football fans wear team-related attire, share
excitement
Add an article
the excitement

The noun phrase excitement seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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with others, cheer for their team, and celebrate together when their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite

The spelling of favorite is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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player scores a goal.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kind of collective
experience
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is difficult to replicate.
Furthermore
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, attending events in person allows individuals to interact directly with the performance. To illustrate, during a live concert, attendees can spontaneously react to the music,
siang
Correct your spelling
sing
sang

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along, and even engage with the musicians.
In contrast
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is less immersive when watching on the
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, where the camera focuses on specific angles at a time, causing viewers to miss many
occurances
Correct your spelling
occurrences

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.
While
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

watching
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may provide a more comfortable and affordable
experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, the
overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

feeling is different, and purchasing a ticket for a live event is unlikely to be regretted. In conclusion, some people believe that joining events in person is more enjoyable than just watching them on
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the unique experiences they gain,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as the crowd's energy and the ability to connect directly with others who share the same interest and with the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply

Oops! It appears that you typed the twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

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performers.

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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy by proofreading for small errors.
examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen arguments.
structure
Ensure topic sentences clearly introduce each paragraph.
task response
The essay addresses all parts of the task effectively.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and provide clear context.
examples
Good use of examples, such as the football stadium and concert scenarios, to support the main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • live performance
  • unique and energetic
  • sense of community
  • screen
  • editing
  • post-production
  • authentic experience
  • convenience
  • visibility
  • real-time commentary
  • expert analysis
  • understanding and appreciation
  • prohibitive
  • accessible option
  • wider audiences
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