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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that money is one of the most factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards hapiness?

#people #money #factors #happiness #hapiness
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Money
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 is considered by many
people
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 to be the most important contributing
factor
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 to provide
happiness
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. In my opinion, it is possible that for some
people
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 who have little
money
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 still pleasures and other aspects of
life
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 can play a role in generating
happiness
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. The following cases and examples below will help support my point of view.
Although
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 having a lot of
money
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 may commonly provide things that you want, it does not mean that you are always happy throughout your
life
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. Some
people
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 have less
money
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, but they think the most
happiness
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 for them is good health which is not to be an obstacle in their later
life
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. If
people
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 suffer from their diseases, it will be difficult to find pleasure. One way that
people
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 can earn
happiness
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 is that job satisfaction.
For example
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, doctors who sacrificed themselves for patients in terms of volunteers. It is readily apparent that in some developing countries, physicians gain little
money
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 from their work
however
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, they are still satisfied with their job and bring
happiness
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 to themselves by using beneficial skills to treat patients.
Therefore
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,
money
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 is not determined to be the best
factor
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 for providing
happiness
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. Another
factor
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 that significantly influences
happiness
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 is having supportive family and friends along with their
life
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.
Although
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money
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 can offer things that you like, it cannot provide feeling love for you. It is better to create
happiness
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 in family and companion via having dinner and travelling to the beautiful place together.
Thus
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, having the best time with loving
people
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 is the most essential
factor
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 contributing to
happiness
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. In conclusion, it is immediately obvious that
money
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 is not the most significant
factor
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.
However
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,
happiness
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 can be found in terms of job satisfaction and having a good time with family and friends. The cases and examples above have supported my point of view to the best.
Submitted by nopcharai.si on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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