Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #focus #resources #animals #birds

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Nowadays, most countries are making efforts to protect wildlife

animals

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However

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, it is argued that the government wastes a large amount of its budget and resources to save endangered

species

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. I completely disagree with

this

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point of view and in

this

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essay, I will support my opinion with examples. To commence with, spending money and resources on the protection of

animals

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is not sufficient because there is an ecological imbalance in the

environment

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. To explain, every creature present in the

environment

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is dependent on other creatures for their living and feeding, making a life cycle balance.

Therefore

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, it becomes essential to pay attention towards endangered

animals

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and birds.

For instance

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, butterflies help in the pollination of plants but these days farmers opt for different alternatives of pollination as butterflies have almost disappeared from the

environment

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. Another worth considering factor is the importance of

animals

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and birds as sources of tourism and employment industry. To elaborate, there are many

species

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which are on the verge of extinction, and just a few of those are protected in zoos and other safe places which are a great source of earning money when people from different parts of the world come to visit these kinds of places.

For example

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, several

species

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like cranes, vultures and parrots are at high risk of dying out because the authorities didn't realise and paid attention to their significance.

Hence

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, the allocation of the budget is not enough to protect endangered

species

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To conclude

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, I believe that the contribution of authorities to protect wildlife is not enough and they must allocate more resources and money to save endangered

species

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so that they can be beneficial for the tourism industry and ecological balance in the

environment

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Submitted by sainisonia422 on Wed Nov 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, but it should also preview the main points. The body paragraphs are well-structured, but make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Furthermore, try to enhance the connection between ideas with diverse transition words and phrases.

task achievement

You have addressed the question and presented a clear opinion, yet more elaboration on why the resources allocated are insufficient would strengthen your argument. Ensure each paragraph expands on a core idea that supports your view. Include more specific examples or data to substantiate your argument.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wildlife conservation
ecosystem preservation
sustainable development
biodiversity
habitat destruction
ecological balance
ethical responsibility
economic benefits
endangered species
poaching
education and awareness

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Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?