Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today's society, humans are not machines so work-life balance ideas get more attention than ever. Some people believe that an employee should receive a holiday for a month in

one

Use synonyms

year to assist them to get better productivity,

while

Linking Words

others disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain why I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and provide some examples to support my position.

Firstly

Linking Words

, human beings are not created like robots which only know what are they instructed.

This

Linking Words

is because indeed we may have some similar attributes but we have

one

Use synonyms

thing called emotion. An emotion is

also

Linking Words

like our stamina, it will depleted at

one

Use synonyms

time.

For example

Linking Words

, if we do something like typing on a computer over and over, boredom will grow inside us and realise or not it will affect our productivity.

Therefore

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

we cannot get the same perception as robots.

Additionally

Linking Words

, a holiday is

one

Use synonyms

thing to recharge our emotions and recover our mood. Having different views beside walls in our office could refresh our brains.

Moreover

Linking Words

, not only refreshes but

also

Linking Words

helps generate new ideas to make our tasks more efficient.

For example

Linking Words

, our task is to design a shirt model and if we do some travelling we could get an idea of how to design a better shirt.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people argue holidays will disrupt the workflow in an office.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

argument is flawed because even if we have a big stamina we cannot finish our task if our mood is messed up.

As a result

Linking Words

, a four-week vacation is believed to help workers get greater results. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

it is true that there is a possibility that a long vacation will affect a work rate, the benefits of having days off far outweigh the drawbacks.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I strongly agree with the statement that employers need to give a sufficient amount of holidays to get better company results.

aulia.abdillah.ramadhanWed Dec 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay has a clear thesis statement and that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is directly connected to the overall argument.

task achievement

To increase your score in task achievement, try to include a wider range of specific, relevant examples that directly support your argument.

coherence cohesion

Maintain the logical structure throughout the essay, ensuring that ideas flow naturally from one to the next without abrupt changes or digressions.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing main points with more detailed explanations and providing explicit linking or transition phrases that help guide the reader through your argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

job performance
work-life balance
stress reduction
burnout prevention
loyalty
creativity
innovation
motivation
morale
reinvigorated
employee attraction
staff turnover
well-being
competitive
productivity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, more offspring spend hours of their days on their smartphones than ever before.The main reason behind that is the recent technological advancement with smartphone penetration not only reached adults, but also the children. Moreover, with more parents entering the workforce than ever before, that has an implication with children left without their parents' control.
4
band
Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?
Despite the disappearance of different languages every year.Some people assume that this is not necessary due to the life will be simple if there are a small number of speech in the world.In my perspective, i disagree completely with this statement because of the numerous advantages of having more languages in the world.
5
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people believe the primary problem in environmental space is the extinction of specific species of plants and animals. Considered by some, there are more serious environmental issues. This essay will discuss both views and give opinion about it.
5.5
band
In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
The idea that, whether or not plastic bags ought to be banned as they are responsible for different kinds of pollution, remains a source of controversy. I completely agree with the fact that bags that are made out of plastic should be banned.
4.5
band
More and more people in the city live in small space and without outdoor space. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?
In this Contemporary epoch, population ratio is increased tremendously, especially in the urban locations, Consequences, people who live in metropolitan places they do not have outside places. I think this is a negative breakthrough and this essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.

Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

More and more people in the city live in small space and without outdoor space. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?