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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, there are more celebrities who are famous for glamor and wealth rather than their achievements. This is a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamor #wealth #achievements #people
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While some feel like
celebrities
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 who were born with glamour are bad examples to youth, it is still an argument as some are in fact working hard to achieve their goal, becoming a decent influence. There are many
celebrities
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 who were born with privileges. Some
people
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 believe that it is unfair to give a spotlight to those
celebrities
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. They think those
people
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 are not talented compared with others who worked hard to be famous.
In addition
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,
this
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 belief leads to the assumption that untalented
celebrities
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 would be bad influencers to young
people
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. They would follow the luxurious life of these
people
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 and think that it is necessary to follow the trend, which would create bad behaviours. The youth might spend money to achieve
such
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 perfect images. In fact, you could not judge the book by its cover. Some of those privileged
celebrities
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also
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 worked hard for their fame. It is not like they could just sit down, do nothing and be famous within the blink of an eye.
Furthermore
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, many are more likely to inspire teenagers to work hard. As an example, Gigi Hadid had received a lot of backlash during her debut as a model. Soon enough, she proved to the public that even though it might seem like her family paved the way for her, she still needs to work hard to be one of the top models. Young models nowadays admire her and learn from her works and so do the teenagers. In conclusion, I think it is too soon to assume that all privileged
celebrities
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 would be bad examples. Some give a lesson to the young generation that
although
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 being born with wealth might pave the way, at the end of the day you still need to work hard to maintain a high position.
Submitted by yanichanat on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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