Some people think that the Olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
have been losing their importance
along
Change preposition
over
show examples
the centuries, until becoming irrelevant nowadays. In my opinion, I disagree that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
lost their importance in the world where we live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. I support
this
point of view for two main reasons. To commence with the first reason, these
games
represent an excellent way to bring
people
together. Indeed, it is very common for families or friends to watch
Olympic
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the Olympic
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games
together
,
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apply
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while
having lunch or dinner
for example
.
In addition
to that,
Olympics
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the Olympics
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manage to gather
people
together at a more profound level, by awakening and enhancing strong feelings of patriotism and brotherhood among citizens.
For instance
, when
last
year an Italian athlete won the 100 mt
Olympic
race, we were all very proud of him, but especially we were proud of being Italians. Turning to the second motivation,
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
represents a good method to increase and improve local economies.
This
is
due to
the fact that host cities usually invest huge amounts of money to improve their facilities,
such
as stadiums or swimming pools.
As a consequence
of
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
investments, lots of new job places are created.
Moreover
, local economies can thrive
also
due to
the increased levels of tourism, which is typical during the
Olympic
period.
For instance
, all hotels and restaurants in host cities and nearby are always fully booked.
To conclude
, even though some
people
consider
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
show examples
games
useless nowadays, I still believe they have a big relevance for both
people
and countries. These
games
are still a wonderful occasion that we can use to celebrate our
countries's
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country's
show examples
success.
Furthermore
, thanks to
local
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the local
show examples
government's investments and the increased levels of tourism, local economies will flourish during the
Olympic
season.
Submitted by lucrezia.giunta97 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, incorporate a counter-argument to show acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint, and then refute it to strengthen your stance.
task achievement
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively includes both an introduction and a conclusion which frames your argument well.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with specific and relevant examples, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
You've clearly presented your opinion and supported it with logical reasoning, which contributes to task achievement.

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