At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

It is argued that these days,

youngersters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

account for most of the population in some particular countries while there are

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

elderly. In

this

essay, the advantages and disadvantages will be discussed and I will conclude by saying whether the benefits or drawbacks are of importance. In terms of the positive aspects, more

youger

Correct your spelling

younger

generations

means

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mean

show examples

more employees available which lead to the increase

Change preposition

show examples

productivity.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

higher and stabler workforce can boost the local

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

In addition

, younger adults have

Add an article

a more

show examples

creative and innovative

idea

Fix the agreement mistake

ideas

show examples

which make the

socitey

Correct your spelling

society

more competitive.

For instance

, some big cities in the world,

such

as New York, London, Taipei indicate that

Correct article usage

the more

show examples

young adults there are,

Correct article usage

the more

show examples

improvement the city could be. As for the drawbacks, studies show that there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

Add an article

a more

the more

show examples

mental

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

in leading cities over the world. People living in hustle and bustle life result in anxiety, depression and

insomina

Correct your spelling

insomnia

which lead to a high rate of

psychology

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psychological

show examples

treatment. Compared with

those older generation

Change the determiner

that older generation

those older generations

show examples

, they are more likely to live a

low-paced

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slow-paced

show examples

life,

for example

, spending time in

temple

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the temple

show examples

and natural sites which lead to increase the satisfectinary of a better living standard. In conclusion,

although

there

are

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show examples

strong

argument

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arguments

show examples

both against and in

favor

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favour

show examples

large

Change the article

a large

the large

show examples

number of young adults living in

contries

Correct your spelling

countries

. I believe that the benefits are of far more

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

than the drawbacks.

Submitted by sandy011445 on Mon Mar 21 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

227 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People always believe that we could be a better person by using positive mindset. To what extend do you agree?

Some people think that art lessons, such as painting and drawing lessons, should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?

Today social skills are being more and more emphasized by employers. Some people believe that social skills are important besides good qualifications for their job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Due to the availability of fast food nowadays, many people have low-quality diets. What problems can this cause? What can governments do to resolve these problems?