Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

In
this
day and age, it is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that using social
media
sites has many advantages.
However
, others argue that it has some drawbacks. Regarding
this
, I strongly believe that the negative aspects of using social
media
sites overwhelm the positive sides. On the one hand, some believe that social
media
facilitates
people
to make friendships over the world. A significant number of
people
can share their ideas through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific sites
such
as Instagram and Facebook, thereby leading to gathering with like-minded
people
.
This
trend helps individuals
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
their norms and interests. What is more, they can exchange different languages.
For example
, a survey conducted by the Korea
Media
Foundation has revealed that almost 30% of social
media
users are satisfied with making foreign friends. As the example clearly
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
users indeed can meet various friends in
this
globalized world.
On the other hand
, there are several issues owing to anonymity.
Firstly
,
an
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apply
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excessive use of social
media
causes health problems.
people
who are shy and lonely think
anonimity
Correct your spelling
anonymity
is attractive as they can have a chance to get
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
show examples
from the public. As shy individuals are getting addicted to
use
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using
show examples
social
media
, they sometimes cannot distinguish between reality and virtual life. What
is
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are
show examples
more, anonymous criminals target innocent
people
by hacking and phishing since it is hard to chase them
.
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?
show examples
For instance
, a recent
media
in Korea reports that about 20% of
people
have experienced
cyber crimes
Correct your spelling
cybercrimes
show examples
on social
media
.
Hence
, it is reasonable to point out that there are negative effects of using them. In conclusion, while I accept that social
media
can sometimes be attractive, there is no doubt to point out that the negative impacts are more serious than the positive ones.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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