IELTS Writing Correction Service /
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Band 5.5

Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #usage #computers #phones #effect #skills
Few believe that the surge in the utilization of computing machines and smartphones has adversely impacted the reading and writing
skills
 of the youth. With the advent of technology, the traditional methods of grasping information have been exacerbated. I believe that if
such
 advancement is used judiciously
then
 the effects can be reversed.
Firstly
, the
over usage
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
 of gadgets has deteriorated our writing abilities.
Moreover
, adolescents are habitual
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 using cyber slang in each of their conversations. Which in turn, has affected their vocabulary and word spelling.
For example
, in today's time, 'CU', 'LOL' and 'W8' are
such
 kinds of abbreviations that are globally used by the younger generation.
Secondly
, the autocorrection feature has
further
 jeopardised the inculcation of written
skills
, as
this
 feature does not allow us to understand grammatical errors or misspelt words. To illustrate, applications
such
 as Grammarly autocorrect sentences and words within a few seconds.
Additionally
, amateurs have a lot of interest in reading books. They are allured towards watching
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
 videos on computers and playing games on mobile.
For instance
, as per a recent poll in America, 63.33% of children use electronic machines for reading
instead
 of traditional books.
Furthermore
, these days, kids only study to pass the examination without
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of understanding the concepts.
This
 has immensely impacted the graduates being produced.
However
, there are certain innovations
such
 as
kindle
Capitalize word
Kindle
show examples
, which can help to enhance a child's glossary and develop an interest in reading.
In addition
 to
this
, in the supervision of elders computers can
also
 be used by immatures to perceive good educational
skills
. As an example, with the onus of parents, some children excel in their academics with the extra knowledge gained from computers. In conclusion, I reiterate that the gradual increase in the usage of modern communication methods has definitely impacted the reading and writing
skills
 of young people.
Whereas
, if these technological gadgets are wisely used
then
 they help to revoke their negative impacts.
Submitted by madhuranijadhav on

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task response
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the question and presents some relevant points. However, it could benefit from a clearer stance on the issue and a more balanced evaluation of both positive and negative impacts of technology on reading and writing skills.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates an adequate logical structure and the presence of an introduction and conclusion. However, the essay lacks clear transitions between ideas, and some paragraphs are not effectively linked. Consider using more cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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