One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Due to better medical facilities,
longevity
Add an article
the longevity

The noun phrase longevity seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has increased.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

vast experiences of old
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be utilized for the
progess
Correct your spelling
progress
process

If you don’t want progess to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of a nation,
however
Linking Words

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, on the downside, it might lead to
slow
Correct article usage
a slow

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pace of
development
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in developing nations. In my opinion, the positive aspects
takes
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take

The singular verb takes does not appear to agree with the plural subject aspects. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

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precedence over the drawbacks. The greatest benefit of increased
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

expectancy can be availed by utilizing the experience of aged
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which plays a pivotal role in the
development
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of a
country
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Old
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
Change the verb form
have

The verb has does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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worked throughout their
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
as a
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

result
Add a comma
,result

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase as a result. Consider adding a comma.

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they have vast knowledge
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter unlike the young generation which lacks life experiences. Consider adding the comma(s).

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the young generation which lacks
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

experiences.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these experiences
helps
Change the verb form
help

The singular verb helps does not appear to agree with the plural subject experiences. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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in strengthening of
political
Add an article
the political
a political

The noun phrase political system seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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system in a
country
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Taking Japan as an example, most of the political
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders

It seems that leader may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in their government
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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of sixty years.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

makes their
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

best
Correct article usage
the best

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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in governance throughout the world.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, making use of
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of experienced old
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

makes
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

country
Add an article
a country
the country

The noun phrase country seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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great.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are some challenges associated with the increased living capacity
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
slow
Correct article usage
the slow

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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pace of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
underpriviliged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged

If you don’t want underpriviliged to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

nations. Due to the decline in the mortality rate, the population of countries are on a surge.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it leads to
depletion
Correct article usage
the depletion

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of natural resources which cause
substantial
Add an article
a substantial

The noun phrase substantial increase seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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increase in
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun inflation in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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inflation.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In Africa, poverty is linked to
Correct article usage
an increase
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increase
Change the verb form
increasing

The verb increase may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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in the
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

expectancy of the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it leads to
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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drop in the pace of
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, despite there are few disadvantages regarding fall in the
progess
Correct your spelling
process
progress

If you don’t want progess to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of developing nation, there are a plethora of advantages which outweighs the negative aspects. In my opinion, I believe that
crucial
Correct article usage
the crucial

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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experience of
aged
Add an article
the aged

The noun phrase aged population seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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population plays a vital role in the
progess
Correct your spelling
process
progress

If you don’t want progess to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of a
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • medical care
  • quality of life
  • manageable
  • curable
  • economic strain
  • aging population
  • social security
  • workforce challenges
  • sustainability
  • overpopulation
  • environmental issues
  • standards of living
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