There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

Nowadays, our young citizens have high pressure

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their academic results and in consequence,a lot of people believe that extra academic subjects should be removed from the school calendar in order to succeed. To that extent, I am in disagreement due to the following reasons. The current education system is developed in order to teach our children not only in the classical subjects like Science, Mathematics, and Language but

also

in those which have the possibility to develop their emotional intelligence. On the one hand and as we all know, extracurricular lessons

such

as martial arts, football and basketball give our young citizens the opportunity to improve their physical state and

moreover

their emotional intelligence.

Besides

the fact that they learn the important role which health plays in their life.

For instance

, children that usually play football or any sport that should be played into a team, have more empathise, and are more able to think in whole group benefit

instead

of their own. Its benefits could be translated into their relationships with family and friends.

On the other hand

, there are the music lessons in which the students decided to play an instrument. There are numerous researchers who prove the extraordinary benefit that

this

activity has in their brain development.

Moreover

, recent studies show that students who are in piano lessons have better academic results than those who do not have any extra school activity. To conclude, I am totally convinced that, the only way to have extraordinary results is by stimulating their brain with these activities. Remove them from the school calendar could lead to several mental problems, like depression or sadness and as far I am concerned, it could lead to suicide

Submitted by melisa.siverio on Wed Mar 23 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Fully explain your ideas

It is widely agreed that a high salary should be a priority when deciding on a job, while some people also agree that enjoying the job itself is important. In the following paragraph, we will discuss both perspectives before concluding it.

13/05 Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes and suggest possible solutions. Also provide relevant examples from your experience.

Many countries have most shops and products as the same . Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative . Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Q. In some countries, celebrities complain about the way the media publicizes their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?