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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Paying for things using mobile apps is becoming more and more common in many countries. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#apps #countries #development
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Using mobile
apps
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instead
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 of paying in cash has been more popular in several countries. I believe that his trend, despite the benefit of
money
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management
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, brings a greater disadvantage for society as a whole in terms of affecting citizens’ privacy
information
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. As one of the positive aspects, utilizing mobile
apps
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 makes
money
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management
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 simple due to the function of recording revenue and expenditure for each
payment
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 automatically.
For example
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, according to the recent survey, 60% of individuals who installed and relied on
payment
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apps
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 answered that automatic records for the movement of
money
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 on the
apps
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 were useful for the
management
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 of their total
money
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. If mobile
apps
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 for
payment
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 were not invented,
people
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 worldwide would not be able to manage their
money
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 as easily as in the contemporary world.
On the other hand
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, it can be recognized as a negative shift in view of involving
people
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 in a crime. There is a high possibility for
people
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 to be exposed to privacy invasions through registered personal
information
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 on the
payment
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apps
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. To illustrate
this
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, the public organization showed that 90% of users of
such
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apps
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 have a possibility to be theft
information
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 from bank accounts without applying a specific soft for protecting their
information
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 to their devices. If a greater number of
people
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 take the opportunity to pay in mobile
apps
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, the figure for the crime recognized as privacy theft will increase significantly. In conclusion,
although
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 the
payment
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 with using mobile
apps
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 is beneficial for
money
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management
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, I support that there is a more harmful effect in the increased crime which leads to the theft of personal
information
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.
Submitted by 100nami.d on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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