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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that
children
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 should learn a different
language
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 at primary
school
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 before going to a secondary
school
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, and there are pros and cons. I strongly believe that the benefits of
childern
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children
 who learn a foreign
language
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 at an elementary
school
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 overwhelm the drawbacks. On the one hand, some argue that since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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childhood is a backbone of life to grow healthy body,
children
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 have to run at a playground
instead
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 of learning an alien
language
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 in
oder
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order
 to develop their body.
Furthermore
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, when they
interect
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interact
 with peers during playing, they can improve social skills.
For example
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, a survey conducted by the Korea Education Foundation has revealed that almost 30% of
children
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 who spend a lot of time
for
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apply
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playing with friends tend to become an adult who has
the
Correct article usage
a
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 healthy body and mind. As the example clearly illustrates, it is
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 idea to study a foreign
language
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 after graduating from
a
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apply
show examples
primary
school
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. What is more, not only does learning another
language
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 bring about efficiency, it may
also
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 contribute to
obtaine
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obtain
 a better job opportunity in the future.
Firstly
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, as the number of subjects which students have to study become increasing when they go to a middle
school
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. It is getting hard to allocate their time to studying a
foreing
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
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.
Therefore
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, if they fail to divide their time, they will get bad grades from every
majors
Change to a singular noun
major
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 at a secondary
school
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.
In other words
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,
kids
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 should learn an alien
lauguage
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language
 at a primary
school
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 because they learn
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
the smaller
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 number of subjects compared to a secondary
school
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.
Secondly
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, due to globalization, a significant number of multinational companies prefer to hire multilingual employees. Once
kids
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 learn another
language
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 at a primary
school
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, they can get a good score from a secondary
school
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, thereby leading to having a chance to gain better occupation.
For instance
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, a recent media in Korea reports that almost 20% of
kids
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 who have learned a foreign
languge
Correct your spelling
language
 tend to be hired at a major company when they grow up.
Hence
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, it is reasonable to point out that
kids
Use synonyms
 should learn another
lauguage
Correct your spelling
language
 as earlier as they can. In conclusion, while I accept that playing
of
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apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 can sometimes be helpful to live a healthy life, there is no doubt to point out that the efficiency and better job opportunities are way essential in the entire life.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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