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Writing Samples
Band 5

Problems with environmental pollution have become so serious that many countries are trying to solve these problems. Suggest possible solutions and give your own opinion.

#pollution #countries
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Nowadays,
people
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 have their own preferences about how to travel. Some
people
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 prefer to travel Environmental
pollution
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 has become a serious problem all over the world.
However
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, we do not usually try to improve our
environment
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. We always
use
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 chemical detergents and fertilizer.
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Also
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,Also
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 forests have been fatally damaged by deforestation. Some researchers say that if we do not stop devastating the
environment
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, the Earth will be catastrophic 100 years later. To prevent
this
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 drastic situation,
this
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 essay will suggest what we should do and how the
government
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 should solve the problems. We should
use
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 eco-friendly
products
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such
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 as natural detergents or manure rather than using chemical
products
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. Using chemical
products
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 has caused fatal water
pollution
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. Water is essential for our everyday life.
Therefore
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,
people
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 in the world should have the responsibility to maintain clean water. We should
use
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 environmentally friendly
products
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 rather than chemical ones. It will help improve our
environment
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. To reduce
air
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pollution
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 we should
use
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 public
transportation
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 rather than using our own vehicle.
For instance
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, public
transportation
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 can save our money and
energy
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.
Moreover
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, it helps reduce the
amount
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number
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 of exhaust fumes in the
air
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.
In addition
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 to that, it may be able to relieve traffic jams. If more
people
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use
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 public
transportation
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, it means diminishing the number of cars on the road.
Thus
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, it will reduce the risk of car accidents as well.
Then
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,
finally
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, we should plant many trees. Trees absorb carbon dioxide produced by human activities and make fresh
air
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. The
government
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 must make more investments to improve our
environment
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such
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 as building more purifier factories and developing alternative
energy
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 resources. Fossil fuels lead to
air
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pollution
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.
Thus
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, the
government
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 should develop more sustainable
energy
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 resources and lower the rate of public
transportation
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 charges so that more
people
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 can
use
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 buses and trains. In conclusion, improving the
environment
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 requires
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
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efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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. We need to
concern
Add a missing verb
be concern
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 about these environmental problems and make considerable efforts to prevent any
pollution
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 on the planet. The
government
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 should develop alternative
energy
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 or new sustainable
energy
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 and encourage
people
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 to
use
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 public
transportation
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 more often. The harder we try, the healthier our planet will be.
Submitted by akrasel9830 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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