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Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom
Today, young
children
 have more free
time
 and space than before. I believe that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, freedom may bring some drawbacks to the young generation. One major drawback is that behaving without control can lead to destructive behaviours. If teachers do not educate their students about the basic rules of communication in schools, these students may be rude and copy what they see and hear through social media, making significant barriers to their future lives. Another is that having easy access to junk foods and sugary drinks can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle.
As a result
,
children
’s obesity has been one of the main concerns in most developed countries, which already threatens their public health systems.
Moreover
, playing video games and surfing the Internet can lead to an inactive lifestyle.
For example
, young people are more likely to be addicted to games. The lack of regular exercise can affect their study and form a positive lifestyle.
On the other hand
,
children
 still need to be provided more free
time
 and space.
Firstly
, free
time
 can help to develop their potential.
For instance
, they can learn a variety of extra-curriculums and arts in their spare
time
 to find their interests, which allows them to expand horizons and improves their sense of beauty.
Secondly
, offering more free space for
children
 can help to build independent thinking. If parents can encourage them to think about the decisions and solutions when addressing issues, they will have more opportunities to lay a solid foundation for their future careers.
Furthermore
,
children
 who can be encouraged to think freely can be more creative and gain their sense of achievement. In conclusion,
although
 providing too much freedom for young
children
 has some disadvantages, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by chefuyin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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