Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, young

children

have more free

time

and space than before. I believe that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, freedom may bring some drawbacks to the young generation. One major drawback is that behaving without control can lead to destructive behaviours. If teachers do not educate their students about the basic rules of communication in schools, these students may be rude and copy what they see and hear through social media, making significant barriers to their future lives. Another is that having easy access to junk foods and sugary drinks can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle.

As a result

children

’s obesity has been one of the main concerns in most developed countries, which already threatens their public health systems.

Moreover

, playing video games and surfing the Internet can lead to an inactive lifestyle.

For example

, young people are more likely to be addicted to games. The lack of regular exercise can affect their study and form a positive lifestyle.

On the other hand

children

still need to be provided more free

time

and space.

Firstly

, free

time

can help to develop their potential.

For instance

, they can learn a variety of extra-curriculums and arts in their spare

time

to find their interests, which allows them to expand horizons and improves their sense of beauty.

Secondly

, offering more free space for

children

can help to build independent thinking. If parents can encourage them to think about the decisions and solutions when addressing issues, they will have more opportunities to lay a solid foundation for their future careers.

Furthermore

children

who can be encouraged to think freely can be more creative and gain their sense of achievement. In conclusion,

although

providing too much freedom for young

children

has some disadvantages, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by chefuyin on Thu Mar 24 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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The qualities a person needs to become truly successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?