Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, young
children
have more free
time
and space than before. I believe that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, freedom may bring some drawbacks to the young generation. One major drawback is that behaving without control can lead to destructive behaviours. If teachers do not educate their students about the basic rules of communication in schools, these students may be rude and copy what they see and hear through social media, making significant barriers to their future lives. Another is that having easy access to junk foods and sugary drinks can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle.
As a result
,
children
’s obesity has been one of the main concerns in most developed countries, which already threatens their public health systems.
Moreover
, playing video games and surfing the Internet can lead to an inactive lifestyle.
For example
, young people are more likely to be addicted to games. The lack of regular exercise can affect their study and form a positive lifestyle.
On the other hand
,
children
still need to be provided more free
time
and space.
Firstly
, free
time
can help to develop their potential.
For instance
, they can learn a variety of extra-curriculums and arts in their spare
time
to find their interests, which allows them to expand horizons and improves their sense of beauty.
Secondly
, offering more free space for
children
can help to build independent thinking. If parents can encourage them to think about the decisions and solutions when addressing issues, they will have more opportunities to lay a solid foundation for their future careers.
Furthermore
,
children
who can be encouraged to think freely can be more creative and gain their sense of achievement. In conclusion,
although
providing too much freedom for young
children
has some disadvantages, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by chefuyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: