IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show how dangerous waste products are dealt with in three countries.

The pie charts below show how dangerous waste products are dealt with in three countries.
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The three pie charts compare the level of danger of wasted items in
countries
Use synonyms
 (the Republic of Korea, Sweden and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom)
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen clearly that the least dangerous waste in both
countries
Use synonyms
 was "chemical treatment" and "dumping at sea".
Concerning the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 Republic of Korea,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
showed the highest data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 recycling garbage with 69%, which is the highest proportion among other
countries
Use synonyms
. The
next
Linking Words
 sphere which is dealt with by Korea is underground which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 up 22%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the least hazardous waste was incineration
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 9%. On the opposite side, Sweden showed different indexes. Underground was the most warning problem with 55%. Recycling and incineration, have similar percentages which make up 25% and 20% respectively. Concluding, the United Kingdom, shows that the underground is the most dealing with
this
Linking Words
 issue, 82%. Meanwhile, another two wasted products are by chemical treatment and dumping at sea, which has the same proportions, with 8% both. Incineration shows the lowest percentage accounted for 2% of
overall
Linking Words
countries
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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