Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate whether a multicultural
society
with distinct ethnical backgrounds brings more positive development than the negative. While
this
statement is valid to some extent, I would contend that
this
kind of
society
does more good than harm. Without a shadow of a doubt, multicultural
society
brings a tremendous benefit to
people
’s lives. On account of the cultural diversity,
people
can use it as a tactic with a view to drawing an attraction to tourists which in turn can amend the nation's economy. To be specific, China town in America can be cited as an outstanding example. It is a customary tourist area that attracts visitors owing to its substantial cuisine and a wide range of traditional Chinese festivals. For
this
reason, a
society
with various origins is
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
to
people
. While the redeeming features of
this
phenomenon are widely acknowledged, its counterpart still lingers. On the grounds that the country consists of
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
people
from many different regions, it can cause conflicts between groups of
people
with alternative backgrounds.
For instance
, racism is one of the alarming issues that can be talked about.
Therefore
,
multi-sector
Correct article usage
a multi-sector
show examples
society
has a wealth of negative impacts on
people
's lives. To sum up, in my opinion, even though a multi-layered
society
brings both
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
and
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
, the advantageous side is better than its counterpart.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: