IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

“Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#“do #activities #student’s #life
In the contemporary education system, all emphasis is on classroom knowledge and the entire childhood is spent between numerous books and project submissions. The current curriculum is not emphasizing extra-curricular
activities
. I am in agreement that the non-classroom
activities
 will shape up the child's future and in the following paragraphs, I will elaborate
further
 on the matter. To start with, the after-school
activities
 teach teamwork amongst the kids and make them more confident to face
life
 challenges.
Additionally
, the stress is
also
 reduced by playing the games of their interest. To illustrate
further
, games like cricket and football teach the kids to play the sport as a team and the
life
 lessons are incorporated in the fragile mind that any race can be won if we work together as a unit. Other games
such
 as chess and business increase concentration and focus which is another important
life
 lesson.
Secondly
, by performing nonscholastic
activities
, the youths get exposed to various horizons of their interests which can later become their career option and they earn the bread and butter from the work of their passion.
In contrast
 to the previous era when every parent wanted their child to become either a doctor or an engineer, the perception of money-making is changed now and different areas are explored by the present generation. To sum up, the school administration and cocreators should understand the importance of
activities
 after school and encourage the apples of their eye to play any sport of interest.
This
 will increase their emotional morale and make them stronger to face
life
's challenges.
Submitted by nehajaiswal4220 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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