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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people are moving from rural areas to big cities, why has this happened? To what extend do you think it is a good trend?

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Nowadays, more
individuals
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 are choosing to move from
countryside
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the countryside
show examples
 to urban areas, which has left some people wondering if it is a positive move or not. There are plenty of reasons for
this
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, which I will include in
this
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 essay. I
also
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 believe that
this
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 could be a beneficial trend as long as it does not harm the rural lifestyle and culture.
To begin
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 with, one of the situations that might make
individuals
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 eager to move to cities, is in fact more opportunities available in bigger towns, which would be interesting for younger generations. In detail, when youngsters see the chance of having a more complex and successful
life
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 in the cities, using a variety of different facilities
such
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 as educational ones, it would become difficult for them to stay in villages and have a rural
life
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.
Furthermore
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, some humans from rural areas seek to find better and easier
life
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 conditions,
for example
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, having an office job
instead
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 of dealing with animals and agricultural tasks for the rest of their lives.
Moreover
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,
this
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 trend has its pros and cons. As for drawbacks, when the number of countryside
individuals
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 increases in a specific city, the population will increase
as a result
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.
This
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 could potentially lead to traffic problems, job shortage, lack of health and educational facilities and less population in
countryside
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the countryside
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, which can lead to the extinction of country
life
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 .
On the other hand
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, if the governments step in and control the migrations,
this
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 trend can show its plus points,
such
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 as giving the villagers the chance to experience city
life
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 and use different positions to improve their lives
while
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 helping cities as
labour
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a labour
the labour
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 force.
To conclude
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, urban areas have become more advanced in recent years, which has made country people eager to experience it.
While
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 it might concern some
individuals
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 about the outcomes, in my opinion, with the correct management system it can actually be helpful for both groups (country and city people).

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, instead of speaking generally about opportunities in cities, cite specific sectors or industries that attract people from rural areas.
coherence and cohesion
Make clearer connections between ideas. For example, while discussing drawbacks, you can link them back to how they affect rural communities more explicitly, which could improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures. This will enhance the flow of your writing and keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
You effectively introduced the topic and presented your viewpoint clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow and maintains coherence throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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