Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
With the advancement of modern science and technology
smartphones
are the biggest invention of Use synonyms
this
era. Using Linking Words
smartphones
makes life easy to communicate near and Use synonyms
further
.Most kids spend a lot of time on cell Linking Words
phones
Use synonyms
Although
experts believe that using cell Linking Words
phones
Which is for Use synonyms
children
are detrimental effect on their lives,I do believe that cellphone has a lot of benefits for individuals and society as well.
Use synonyms
Smartphones
are a crucial part of our daily activities. There are many reasons for the increase of using Use synonyms
smartphones
.Use synonyms
To begin
with,we get all of the updated news by mobile phone.eventually, Linking Words
children
become addicted to using Use synonyms
this
technology because they can communicate with their peers and share each other thoughts. Linking Words
Moreover
, when Linking Words
children
spend their time playing different Use synonyms
games
is always fascinating. Eventually, they can do online classes by using that technology.Even,Use synonyms
smartphones
have so many apps like video Use synonyms
games
that are very attractive Use synonyms
especially
for adolescents. These Add the comma(s)
, especially
games
provide Use synonyms
children
not only entertainment but Use synonyms
also
make them experts.Linking Words
As a result
, mobile Linking Words
phones
are very popular for kids.
I believe that mobile Use synonyms
phones
have advantages and disadvantages. The main advantage is that using the phone can improve problem-solving skills,teamwork , and communication which are enjoyable activities for kids.Use synonyms
In addition
,Playing Linking Words
games
can make Use synonyms
children
creative Use synonyms
as a result
it provides Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
a
sense of accomplishment and boosts self-esteem. Add the preposition
with a
On the other hand
,if teenagers spend a lot of time on Linking Words
smartphones
,they are highly like not cognitively Use synonyms
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
as well as
new ideas and experience. Linking Words
As a result
,Linking Words
children
cannot think out of the box,with imagination and creativity.
In conclusion, using Use synonyms
smartphones
has both merits and demerits. Parents and teachers should extra care when teenagers use Use synonyms
phones
so that they can live peacefully in the world.Use synonyms
Submitted by Alma Islam on
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task response
While the main ideas are presented clearly, ensure that your arguments are more comprehensively developed. Avoid making broad statements without sufficient explanation or examples, such as stating that games make children 'experts'. Develop your ideas with more specific details and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Pay more attention to sentence structure, punctuation, and grammar. There are quite a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that sometimes obscure the meaning. For example, 'Using smartphones makes life easy to communicate near and further' is unclear and needs rephrasing.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Although your essay is logically structured, some points jump between ideas without smooth transitions. Consider using linking words and phrases to create a more cohesive flow.
task response
The essay does a good job of addressing both the reasons for increased smartphone use among children and the positive and negative aspects of this trend.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and the conclusion provides a summary of the main points discussed, ensuring that the essay is rounded off effectively.
task response
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to present a balanced view, acknowledging both the positive and negative facets of children's smartphone use.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.