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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
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Some are of the opinion that individuals who make a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 are the most successful. Meanwhile, others point out the disadvantageous aspect of
money
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. As far as I am concerned,
although
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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those who contribute to
society
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 like scientists and teachers are more successful in general I think that contribution is more important than
money
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 in that recognized by many people. Those who argue in
favor
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favour
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 of
money
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 point out that individuals who make a lot of
money
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 are the most successful. There are situations when even these proponents would concede you can do almost what you want to do. To be specific, when we try something we think about the price
first
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. But if you do
that
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what
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 you want to do without worrying about
money
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, you can easily feel more happiness. That’s why I agree
money
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 is important to success.
Nonetheless
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, there are myriad
of
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apply
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reasons why those who contribute to
society
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 like
sientists
Correct your spelling
scientists
 and teachers are more successful. It is undeniable that it can be recognized by others. Another vital aspect of
this
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 argument is that it can remain in memory for a long time by contributing
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society
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to society
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we had a social contribution by studying something convenient in our lives
such
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 as scientists, I think we had a good influence and life for many people so far. Needless to say, all these merits stand in
a
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apply
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good stead. According to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach a conclusion that the benefits of contributing
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society
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to society
show examples
 are instrumental indeed. Given that it
is be
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is
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 a better success, I firmly insist that I think it comes from sharing with many people like teachers and scientists.
Nevertheless
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, its potential drawbacks should not be overlooked either.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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