IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

today many self driving vehicles are become more available. Some people thing this good thing, others disagree. give your opinion

#self #vehicles #people
Due to the development of cutting edge technology, people can use
self driving
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self-driving
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 cars. Some argue that it is beneficial, but others do not believe that it is a good invention. Regarding
this
, I strongly agree with the
Correct your spelling
latter
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later
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latter
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 assertion as it negatively affects
on
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apply
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the environment and safety.
Firstly
, from a financial and environmental point of view,
self driving
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self-driving
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 vehicles are not efficient. since they cannot consider various
circumstnces
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circumstances
such
 as the weather and special events, they will stuck in a
traffic
 jam.
Therefore
, not only does
traffic
 congestion cause financial
problem
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problems
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 as people waste money using fossil fuels, but it may
also
 bring about emitting
exhuasted
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exhaust
exhausted
 fumes
in to
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into
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 the air thereby leading to
environmental
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an environmental
the environmental
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problem
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problems
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.
For example
, a survey conducted by the Korea
Traffic
 Foundation has revealed that
self driving
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self-driving
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 system can not predict
traffic
jam
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jams
show examples
 because it is impossible to anticipate special events
such
 as Christmas
parade
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parades
show examples
 and rains. As the example clearly illustrates, it is not a good idea to use
self
-automated driving motors because it is a waste of money and it is harmful
for
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to
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 nature.
Secondly
, using
self driving
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self-driving
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 motors are not safe as they cannot prepare for sudden accidents. As they cannot think and feel, they cannot flexibly cope with unexpected difficulties.
Therefore
, it is dangerous to fully depend on machines.
For instance
, a recent media in Korea reports that
self driving
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self-driving
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 cars are not able to aware children who suddenly run into a car.
Hence
, it is not unreasonable to point out that people should not rely on
self driving
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self-driving
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 motors. In conclusion, as the matter of the fact that using
self driving
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self-driving
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 vehicles are harmful
for
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to
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 the environment and not financially effective and safe, it is not a good idea to rely on them.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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