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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discus both views

#people #animals #zoos #discus
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As a way of protecting wildlife, people use
zoos
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.
Further
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, they
also
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 provide entertainment to the public.
On the other hand
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, can people protect
animals
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 by keeping them caged in the zoo?; are we not violating
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 right to be free? As every story says there are two sides
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a coin, and I will discuss both in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, many endangered
animals
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 need a safe environment to survive and hopefully reproduce to protect their species.
Zoos
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 provide the needed facilities for the people to assist these
animals
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,
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apply
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 because they are safe and well looked after facilities.
Therefore
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,
zoos
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 can be used to protect ecologically important
animals
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.
Furthermore
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, they provide a form of education through entertainment. Looking at the various
animals
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 and seeing them in their natural habitat is a very calming experience and an enjoyable one. It
also
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 provides knowledge
ofis
Correct your spelling
of
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
Use synonyms
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
show examples
 behaviour and their environment.
This
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 knowledge can be used to help save different ecological systems. The best example is the pandas. It is through studying them in these confined environments that scientists learned to help the pandas overcome extinction.
On the other hand
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, humans are violating the rights of the
animals
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 by keeping them caged in
zoos
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. Many have made it a trade, and
as a result
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, there are a lot of
animals
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 that get abducted from
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 habitat, later being sold to various
zoos
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 around the world. Indonesian gorillas are on
such
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 animal species that suffered through trade. As
such
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, they not only lose
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 right to live freely but
also
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 it could endanger their survival . To conclude,
zoos
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 do assist to protect
animals
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 and ecological systems but it should not be conducted in a way that
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 rights are violated.
Submitted by kanchanal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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