IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
Nowadays, it is commonly believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is important for kids to start studying a foreign dialect in primary education rather than
Change preposition
in second
show examples
second
Replace the word
secondary
show examples
 school. In my opinion, due to
globalization
Add a comma
,globalization
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider learning languages
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age can bring about more advantages for
children
 compared to any problems that might come along. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the benefits gained by very young
children
 learning foreign
dialect
Fix the agreement mistake
dialects
show examples
 are extremely useful for their future.
Firstly
, when they start in primary school they have lots of time learning;
hence
, they get to know basics.
In other words
, it is built step by step along with their native language.
Moreover
, the younger they learn the language the faster they can open up to the world and speak to different people from various cultures.
Furthermore
, according to some, those who can speak more than one language are better at communicating with others. Another advantageous point is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it can offer students better work prospects in the future. Admittedly, there are some issues involved with that respect. One problem here is that older
children
 are cognitively more mature and
therefore
 able to learn more with less input. Another negative aspect is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it might cause disturbance for some kids since not every child has the ability to be bilingual. In conclusion, learning dialects will help
children
 in long run to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Hence
, if they learn it earlier the chance for them to be successful
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a young age will increase and
this
 clearly
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
 the disadvantages.
Submitted by aymankhalaily on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: