IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Robots‌ ‌can‌ ‌free‌ ‌people‌ ‌from‌ ‌difficult‌ ‌and‌ ‌dangerous‌ ‌work.‌ ‌However,‌ ‌some‌ ‌people‌ ‌are‌ ‌worried‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌ ‌possible‌ ‌dangers‌ ‌robots‌ ‌may‌ ‌create. ‌‌Discuss‌ ‌the‌ ‌benefits‌‌ ‌of‌ ‌using‌ ‌robots‌ ‌and‌ ‌the‌ ‌‌possible‌ ‌dangers‌‌ ‌from‌ ‌it.‌ ‌

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It is thought by some people that using
machines
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 to
work
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 can ease users' hardship and harmfulness
while
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 others might say it is not safe to leave automation doing all the
work
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. In
this
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 essay, both advantages and disadvantages will be outlined before reaching a conclusion. On the one hand, the use of robotic
machines
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 brings some benefits to society.
Firstly
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, automatic
machines
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 provide companies the neat and accurate
work
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,
as well as
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, saving
time
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. Most of them are controlled by programmes which are set and calculated by people.
For instance
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, the robotic cutting
machines
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, which are used in many metal fabricators, cut the metal plates perfectly following the
programme
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program
show examples
 in ten minutes.
Secondly
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,
automachines
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auto machines
auto-machines
 provide safety to workers because they do not need to wield any harmful tools.
For example
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,
instead
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 of using high-temperature cutting which can injure workers directly, they just let the robots do the
work
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.
On the other hand
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, controlling the artificial being via features on the computer can cause negative effects. At
first,
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if the
programmes
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programs
show examples
 that are used have bugs or errors, they will need
time
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 to find those interruptions and fix them.
Therefore
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, no products are being produced during the maintenance period.
Moreover
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, using robots makes people become reckless
as a result
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 workers trust the engines that they will stop on
time
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 when an accident occurs. To illustrate, users have the confidence that the robotic log saw will cease on
time
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 when their limbs are going in,
however
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, if the
machines
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 are not stopped, it will harm the users directly. All in all, robots can provide both positive and negative effects.
Nevertheless
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, it could be better if individuals still control and harness it in some situations. The maintenance of automation will ensure a worker's safety and smooth production.

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your examples are more varied and detailed, covering a broader range of scenarios where robots could be beneficial or pose risks.
Coherence & Cohesion
In coherence and cohesion, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Conclusion
Also, consider developing your conclusion further by succinctly summarizing the arguments presented and stating a clear personal stance on the issue.
Structure
The clear structure of your essay, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your arguments.
Content
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the benefits and potential dangers of robotics, effectively addressing the prompt.
Examples
The examples you provided, such as robotic cutting machines and robotic log saws, effectively illustrate your points and make your arguments more concrete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • monotonous tasks
  • intellectually stimulating
  • hazardous environments
  • job displacement
  • economic output
  • lower-skilled workers
  • dependency
  • critical skills
  • ethical concerns
  • security concerns
  • unlawful purposes
  • dilemmas
  • autonomous vehicles
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