IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #products #medicines
These days, with growing awareness of protecting
animals
, some
people
 suggest that it is not appropriate to eat
animals
 or consider them as a way of consumption. I am afraid I can not agree with
this
 opinion since some
people
 have no choice whether to eat
animals
 or not and the
use
 of
animals
 is a crucial point in the development of specific areas.
Firstly
,
people
 who live in remote areas which not suitable to develop agriculture or industry, like mountains, are not capable of abandoning hunting as the primary access to meet ends.
For example
, like a village, Liuzhou, famous for its Gog meat Festival, they are accused by some animal-friendly institutions as killers.
This
 tradition formed because of the soil condition
people
 can not cultivate crops.
Although
 technologies are innovated every minute, they do not help the blackness of public transportation.
Therefore
, some places have similar geographical features to
this
 town, and it is unfair to ask those
people
 to get up their only source of financial support. Another reason is that being overly politically correct to protect
animals
 is a way to prevent technology from developing, particularly in the medical area. Many famous bills are expected from
animals
' bodies since
animals
' DNA, and physical traces are more similar to humans than plants' traces, making some experiments have to
use
animals
 as objects and
use
 some parts of
animals
 as medicines. To cite an example, scientists continue to try to
use
 pigs' hearts to take the place of some
people
's hearts that can not work. Whether the experiment is successful or not,
people
 need those pigs as medicines or to find some
animals
, like monkeys, to take place. Overall, despite the fact that
people
 should protect
animals
, some
people
 need to eat
animals
 or sell their prey to survive, and some fields need
animals
 for experiments.
Therefore
, it is clear that the eating of
animals
 and the
use
 of animal products will not be banned in the future.
Submitted by baozilyn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: