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Writing Samples
Band 4

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #quality #life #centuries
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Modern living is at an advanced stage
due to
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 great changes in doing things.Community living currently has an improved quality of life than the traditional period.I agree with the statement
as
Correct word choice
that
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technology
Use synonyms
 advancement has taken over and better education is taking place.
Firstly
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,
technology
Use synonyms
 is well adapted by
people
Use synonyms
 and it is very productive and helpful in
day-today
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
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 activities.Institutions and businesses are all using computers to run their daily activities which has made work very manageable.Society is
also
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 very informed
due to
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 the use of mobile phones because there is the availability of
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 education sector has improved since students do not have to wait for teachers to ask questions rather the students just get to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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google and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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get the answers.
For example
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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 research done by the University of Nairobi shows that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
time
Use synonyms
 is 70% ahead of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traditional
time
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.
Therefore
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, it is indispensable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society has adapted to the current
time
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 as it has added value in the way of doing things.
Secondly
Linking Words
,during a conventional
time
Use synonyms
 when
technology
Use synonyms
 was not known,growth was stagnant and
people
Use synonyms
 would wait for a long
time
Use synonyms
 for a mission to be accomplished.
However
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, with the help of
technology
Use synonyms
currently
Rephrase
apply
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, it has sorted slow growth and lack of immediate information because of
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
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 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, communication was the most affected because letters would take weeks to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
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the designated person.
For example
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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 research done by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Kenyatta University shows that 20% of
people
Use synonyms
 in 1000 are not able to use mobile phones.
Therefore
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,there are still some traditions
that
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 still helpful as of now and cannot be overridden by
technology
Use synonyms
.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
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,current
technology
Use synonyms
 is fast growing which has facilitated a better way of living whereby,
people
Use synonyms
 will have no option but to agree and learn about it very fast.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion lack clarity and focus. The development of main points is weak and lacks proper support and elaboration.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt, and the ideas lack depth and understanding. Specific examples are not clearly linked to the main points and lack relevance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Healthcare improvements
  • Economic growth
  • Social changes
  • Global connectivity
  • Standard of living
  • Life expectancy
  • Gender equality
  • Legal rights
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Access to information
  • Environmental concerns
  • Sustainable development
  • Stress levels
  • Quality of life
  • Medical progress
  • Job opportunities
  • Income disparity
  • Life satisfaction
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