IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #quality #life #centuries
Modern living is at an advanced stage
due to
 great changes in doing things.Community living currently has an improved quality of life than the traditional period.I agree with the statement
as
Correct word choice
that
show examples
technology
 advancement has taken over and better education is taking place.
Firstly
,
technology
 is well adapted by
people
 and it is very productive and helpful in
day-today
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
show examples
 activities.Institutions and businesses are all using computers to run their daily activities which has made work very manageable.Society is
also
 very informed
due to
 the use of mobile phones because there is the availability of
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
In addition
 education sector has improved since students do not have to wait for teachers to ask questions rather the students just get to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
google and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
get the answers.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by the University of Nairobi shows that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
time
 is 70% ahead of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
time
.
Therefore
, it is indispensable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society has adapted to the current
time
 as it has added value in the way of doing things.
Secondly
,during a conventional
time
 when
technology
 was not known,growth was stagnant and
people
 would wait for a long
time
 for a mission to be accomplished.
However
, with the help of
technology
currently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, it has sorted slow growth and lack of immediate information because of
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Moreover
, communication was the most affected because letters would take weeks to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the designated person.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Kenyatta University shows that 20% of
people
 in 1000 are not able to use mobile phones.
Therefore
,there are still some traditions
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 still helpful as of now and cannot be overridden by
technology
.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
,current
technology
 is fast growing which has facilitated a better way of living whereby,
people
 will have no option but to agree and learn about it very fast.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion lack clarity and focus. The development of main points is weak and lacks proper support and elaboration.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt, and the ideas lack depth and understanding. Specific examples are not clearly linked to the main points and lack relevance.
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