IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that advertising is particularly effective at persuading consumers to purchase products. Others believe that advertising is so prevalent that we no longer pay attention to it. I agree with the former statement.
To begin
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 with, one of the reasons that advertising can persuade
people
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 to purchase things is using billboards. Businesses frequently use eye-catching billboards to attract a lot of
people
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. These are placed in prominent locations
such
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 as highways, busy streets, and public transportation where they can be seen by thousands of
people
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 daily.
While
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 TV or online
ads
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 that
people
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 might skip or block, billboards are often visible
due to
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 providing continuous exposure to the message.
Furthermore
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,
ads
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 often evoke strong human emotions
such
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 as happiness, nostalgia, fear, or excitement. Emotional responses create a connection with the product and can influence buying decisions.
For example
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, Apple's
ads
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 often emphasize how the iPhone enhances life experiences, focusing on themes
such
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 as creativity, connection, and innovation.
On the other hand
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, another group of
people
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 claims that when
ads
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 are embedded in the daily environment
such
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 as on buildings, public transport, streets, and screens,
people
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 become accustomed to ignoring them as they go about their routines.
In addition
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, companies are increasingly mindful of ethical advertising that involves being truthful about products or services, accurate information, and avoiding manipulating tactics
such
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 as deceptive visuals or messaging.
While
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this
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 is positive, it may
also
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 make
ads
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 less provocative and
thus
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 less attention-grabbing.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing as I believe that well-crafted and strategically placed
ads
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 continue to be highly effective. In conclusion, advertising retains its persuasive power when executed thoughtfully and creatively, despite the challenges posed by cultural saturation, background noise, and consumer protection. Balancing the number of
ads
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 with quality, relevance, and creativity is essential to ensure that advertising remains an effective tool for influencing consumer
behavior
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behaviour
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 in an increasingly ad-averse world.

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing a clear opinion. Keep supporting your points with relevant examples, as these strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
Though your arguments are generally well-supported, consider elaborating more on the opposing viewpoint to provide a more balanced discussion. This will demonstrate your ability to understand and critique both sides of an argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay starts with a clear introduction and outlines the main points of discussion effectively.
task achievement
You used relevant specific examples, such as Apple's ads, which help to illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, providing a strong ending to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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