Some people argue that spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #birthday #parties #celebration #waste #individuals #society

It is argued that an abundance of

money

which is being spent on marriages, birthday

celebrations

and other functions is not

Remove the article

apply

show examples

worth

Correct pronoun usage

itworth

show examples

. And, I totally agree.

Nevertheless

, some people oppose

this

view. So,

this

essay will elaborate

about

Change preposition

show examples

it in detail. To commence with, in

this

era of materialism, there are, still, many persons who believe in doing intellectual things. To illustrate, they do not prefer to invest their worthwhile

money

in the

celebrations

. Because, there are

also

other options which are really imperative for the society,

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

various human rights save their capital for future plannings like education as well as great upbringing of their offsprings.

In addition

such

individuals invest it as

charity

Add an article

a charity

show examples

, too. For the reason that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they know the actual value of their earnings and

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

appropriate use.

On the contrary

, we have some masses who spend their cash, without thinking, on the

celebrations

. There are miscellaneous causes for

this

For instance

, high standards of living amongst their relatives and friends. Apart from

this

, they consider

such

materialistic activities much

indispensable

Correct quantifier usage

more indispensable

show examples

than individualism.

Therefore

, folks consider it as an essential part of life for themselves and their communities, because they want to make their special events of life memorable for everyone. To sum up, I would like to conclude that,

although

it may be quite crucial for a myriad number of people to celebrate their personal occasions, but, for several persons, investing their

money

in an intelligent way is more pivotal because they think that

celebrations

are a waste of

money

Submitted by Toni R on Fri Mar 25 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?

The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at the same time, the military services are in need of people. Compulsory military service is beneficial and necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some places lod age is valued , while in other culturals youth is considered more important . Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?