Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

International sporting events

Change the verb form

are

The verb is does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples

competitions

Change the noun form

competition

The subject or subject complement of the sentence (competitions) does not appear to agree with the verb is. Consider changing the noun form.

show examples

that may attract international attention . There are some arguments about whether governments should invest more in that kind of

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

It seems that activities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples

or in other public needs. I partially agree with the idea to spend more on individual training for some reasons. As we already know,

sports

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have become one of the most popular entertainments around the world and currently, there are so many competitions among countries. Nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples

sporting event has a big influence not only to entertain spectators but

also

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for other types of benefits like national pride and peace . As

the

Correct article usage

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples

clear example, we may look at the Philippines. It is a conflict territory that shows tribe war on a daily basis.

However

Linking Words

, the situation will drastically change when Manny Pacquiao (a popular boxer from the Philippines) has an international match on that day. People will sit together in a cafe to watch their representative. Philippines boxing won't be that successful if government refuse to invest much in athlete development. Sporting events

also

Linking Words

have a benefit to boost state popularity and identity. For the illustration, we can find it in Jamaica. Previously, nobody recognized the presence of the country until they could win the running

Olympic

Fix the agreement mistake

Olympics

It seems that Olympic may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples

. A similar condition happens to Ivory Coast when people start to dig deeper about the country when they had been selected as one of the world cup participants.

By increasing

Change preposition

Increasing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

popularity, it may help to affect other sectors like tourism, venture, etc. Despite there are many positive impacts

Change preposition

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

spending public money more for International Event success, we have to consider the rate of investment efficiency. Governments should consider what type of game

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples

will

easier

Add a missing verb

be easier

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples

to be improved. In Indonesia, the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

If you don’t want goverment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

has spent billions of dollars to create a better national football team, yet it has been a fruitless effort. On the opposite, the other

sports

Use synonyms

which have got Olympic medals like badminton and weight lifting have only been provided by a small amount of cash. In conclusion, it would be a great situation to have

country

Add an article

a country

The noun phrase country seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples

which may

has

Change the verb form

have

The verb has after the modal verb may does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples

International

Sports

Use synonyms

achievements. But,

government

Add an article

the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples

should consider the financial feasibility

about

Change preposition

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

what type of sport

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples

may have a higher impact with less effort.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the idea to spend on

sports

Use synonyms

training should be continued with a note to analyze it scrupulously before making a decision.

arfienugrahaFri Mar 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

393 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?
In this modern era, children, unfortunately, endure some ailments that they are known as adults such as being overweight. There are various reasons behind it. This illness originates from diet, sedentary lifestyle and genetics. I personally believe that three critical reasons unhealthy diet, sedentary lifestyle and genetics considerably contribute to the development of such diseases in teenagers.
8
band
Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As people rely more and more on social media, there exists a debate about whether the impact on both individuals and society is negative or not.From my perspective, I am inclined to stand neutrally with the opinion since the development generates not only demerits but also advantages to daily life.
6.5
band
Art is considered an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught of art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects.
It is commonly believed that art plays a fundamental role in society as artists are able to express their thoughts and culture through art. In my opinion, children should definitely learn art because it will help to develop their thinking but it should not create any hindrance to other subjects.
6
band
Some people think that it is more imprtant to spend money on roads and motorwawys than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, many people have argued that investing in infrastructure is essential rather than the system of public transport. The author of this essay completely disagrees with this statement due to the fact that it is excessive and public transport can have many cultural values.
6.5
band
You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter -describe the problem you had with the tickets -say why you were unhappy with the staff -suggest what action the train company should take Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction regarding the booking service of your train company. Recently, I faced a problem when your staff stopped me from travelling due to the occurrence of an error in a ticket.

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art is considered an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught of art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects.

Some people think that it is more imprtant to spend money on roads and motorwawys than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?