Some people think that spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #birthday #parties #celebration #waste #individuals #society

While some

people

believe in spending on events and celebrating special events is beneficial for individuals and society, some

people

think it is a waste when too much is spent on

such

things. In my opinion, if rich

people

in the country spend

money

for celebrating can benefit the society as party planners can make

money

but if poor spend too much

money

to celebrate is a waste. I will discuss

the

Correct your spelling

this

show examples

further

in the following paras. Rich

people

Add the comma(s)

, first of all,

show examples

first

of all have the capacity to spend on

parties

and it can give the job to many

people

involved to make event possible. It is

also

required for them in business to keep healthy relationships and

parties

is a good

way

to get good

way

to do business in

informal

Change the article

an informal

show examples

way

For example

, many

people

connect and

interaction

Replace the word

interact

show examples

at a party and use

this

later in their business. So, celebrating is a good

way

for making connections and rich

parties

is like a chance to meet. Poor

people

on the other have little or no extra income to spend on a big party. Calling

people

for birthday

parties

is a burden for both the person call

people

as they have to spend on food and place and for

people

coming as they have to spend on gifts and travel. Today a birthday at a small restaurant or at home can be expensive for small-income

people

. So,

people

think it is a waste to spend on

parties

to celebrate. To conclude, everybody wants to celebrate something and have fun but when the rich spend lots of

money

it will not hurt them but if poor

people

want to spend

then

it will be difficult. If rich

people

can have a

way

to give excess food after the event can help a lot of the poor.

Submitted by Toni R on Fri Mar 25 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

You shoud spend about 40 minutes on this task. In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative developmant?

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?