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Band 6

Some people think that spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #birthday #parties #celebration #waste #individuals #society
While some
people
 believe in spending on events and celebrating special events is beneficial for individuals and society, some
people
 think it is a waste when too much is spent on
such
 things. In my opinion, if rich
people
 in the country spend
money
 for celebrating can benefit the society as party planners can make
money
 but if poor spend too much
money
 to celebrate is a waste. I will discuss
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
further
 in the following paras. Rich
people
Add the comma(s)
, first of all,
show examples
first
 of all have the capacity to spend on
parties
 and it can give the job to many
people
 involved to make event possible. It is
also
 required for them in business to keep healthy relationships and
parties
 is a good
way
 to get good
way
 to do business in
informal
Change the article
an informal
show examples
way
.
For example
, many
people
 connect and
interaction
Replace the word
interact
show examples
 at a party and use
this
 later in their business. So, celebrating is a good
way
 for making connections and rich
parties
 is like a chance to meet. Poor
people
 on the other have little or no extra income to spend on a big party. Calling
people
 for birthday
parties
 is a burden for both the person call
people
 as they have to spend on food and place and for
people
 coming as they have to spend on gifts and travel. Today a birthday at a small restaurant or at home can be expensive for small-income
people
. So,
people
 think it is a waste to spend on
parties
 to celebrate. To conclude, everybody wants to celebrate something and have fun but when the rich spend lots of
money
 it will not hurt them but if poor
people
 want to spend
then
 it will be difficult. If rich
people
 can have a
way
 to give excess food after the event can help a lot of the poor.
Submitted by Toni R on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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