IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that nowadays we have many choices. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
Nowadays some
people
 say that we have many
choices
. I completely agree with
this
 opinion because of developing the technology and improvement of
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 industry. Technology has been
effect
Replace the word
effective
show examples
 in many aspects
such
 as
work
 and study so
people
 have many
choices
.
For example
, a student who lives in Iran can study in
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
such
 as Canada, so
his
Correct pronoun usage
he
show examples
 can study anywhere that he like and
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 her knowledge.
In addition
, nowadays
people
 can
work
 in a place which is not a
work-place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
such
 as home
caffe
Change the capitalization
Caffe
show examples
 or some places like
this
.
For instance
, in
pandemic
Fix the agreement mistake
pandemics
show examples
 because of
danger
Add an article
the danger
show examples
 of getting ill,
people
 don’t go to
work
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
 remotely.
Furthermore
, there are many vegan
people
 (who don’t like eating meat or using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
product
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made from animals) and they can live much easier than past because of the improvement of
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 industry now. In the
past
Add a comma
,past
show examples
 if someone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to be a vegan person he hurt
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his health due to the lack of getting essential nutrients so he has not
many
Add a missing verb
have many
show examples
choices
Change preposition
as to
show examples
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 what
his
Change the pronoun
he
show examples
like
Wrong verb form
liked
show examples
 to eat.
However
, some
people
 think they should
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
do anything that they want so because of some law they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not many
choices
, but if anyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 so anything a disorder
is happened
Change to the active voice
happens
has happened
show examples
 and it is bad.
Submitted by yasamns30 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: