IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #plant #trees #spaces #towns #cities
In our developing
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
 new cities and planted zones are being generated in
a open spaces
Correct the article-noun agreement
an open space
open spaces
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in towns. Facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some natural
problems
 I prefer to increase planting
trees
,
then
 to prevent housing
problems
 by building houses in town.
Firstly
 , developing
floral
Correct article usage
a floral
show examples
 environment gives more beauty to
town
Add an article
the town
show examples
. During evening and night walk people can enjoy by walking planted area , and that atmosphere makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
forget their
problems
 with its sight side. The most interesting case is flora gives awesome
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 for fauna
such
 as birds and people.
Secondly
 , developing planted zone can prevent
air
 pollution . climate change and
air
 pollution is
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 problem for all. That kind of zones which has lots of
trees
 may stop changing climate and give to citizens fresh
air
 while factories and cars
producing
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
air
 which is venom for nature and people. We can not reject that creating
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 place to live can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 more
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 for new
descendents
Correct your spelling
descendants
Descendents
 .
However
 ,
this
 kind of
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 can be solved by skyscrapers. If
trees
 wouldn’t be planted ,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
town atmosphere would be worse
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 causes breathing illness , allergic illness to name but a few. In conclusion,
however
 , housing can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 new space for living to
descendts
Correct your spelling
descendants
 which can be tackled by building skyscrapers, planting
trees
 gives lots of benefits
such
 as fresh
air
, environment to relax for one, and makes
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
 for birds.
Submitted by mohigulsuyunqulova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: