Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

Life
is impossible without the latest technologies and one of them is the
computer
. Some segments of society argue that
side
Correct article usage
the side
show examples
effects of
computer
use
are
highly
Replace the adverb
high
show examples
as compared to the benefits in our
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
lives. I completely agree with it and we will discuss some reasons in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
paragraphs.
Firstly
,
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
and physical health of
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
is being affected by
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
Children
spend most of the time in front of computers to play games or
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
cartoons. They have lost their
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
in education and other curriculum activities. Basically,
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
train itself
accoridng
Correct your spelling
according
to the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. When
children
will watch
articial
Correct your spelling
artificial
things, they will visualize themselves as they watch
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
computer
games or movies.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, their mental growth to explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new things will be stopped.
Secondly
, social
life
is
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
due to
highly
Replace the word
high
show examples
use
of
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
Children
use
social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
to communicate with others.
Face
to
face
interaction is reducing day by day.
Therefore
,
children
cannot perform in public because they have 0% confidence to interact with
peole
Correct your spelling
people
.
For instance
, there are two
children
,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
one who
perfroms
Correct your spelling
performs
everything like study, making friends, communication with others through
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
.
In contrast
,
second
who is good in social
life
. He attends live gatherings,
perform
Change the verb form
performs
show examples
in live public never
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
like the
first
one. Eventually,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
of
computer
Replace the word
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
our social
life
in both direct
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
indirect ways. In conclusion,
children
should
use
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
but for
beneficial
Add an article
a beneficial
show examples
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. Parents should make a
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
to play games or watch
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
.
Children
should
Add a missing verb
be expert
show examples
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
in
face
Add an article
the face
a face
show examples
to
face
interaction
instead
of digital communication. My point of view
is rely
Change the verb form
relies
show examples
on the statement that
computer
use
has more disadvantages than advantages.
Submitted by mahmood.hafiz2272 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: